Don't worry, be happy................

If this old lady can be happy, any of us can be happy, too.
IT IS OUR CHOICE TO MAKE.
The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and  makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
As she manoeuvred her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window.
"I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just  been presented with a new puppy.
"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room ..just wait."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it, "she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged... it's how I arrange my mind.
"I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away just for this time in my life. "Old age is like a bank account: you withdraw from what you've put in. "So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.

"Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing." Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

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Singh joke

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America.
A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh." Another guy came and asked the him the same question.
Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am
relaxing."

The Sing slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot.
Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here!"

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A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate
Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul, he must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are in a year?
The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it's not the answer I expected.
But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?"
The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc..."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

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Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every
minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World Channel'. How does he know that?"

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Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. One was Hindu, one a Muslim, and the other a Singh.
The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.
The Muslim was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.
Then the Hindu tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned, too.

The Singh thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming. He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.

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Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you
thanking God for ?"
The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

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Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well.
His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,"
he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.

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Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.

So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one said, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ? " First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"

Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished
and asked other, "Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."

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A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, Mr. Singh, what are you doing?"
To this the man replies," Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".

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Office comic

  A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor in Bombay.

  First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?"

  The wife replies, "It's my husband - he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!"

  "How does he drive you crazy?"

  "For 20 years," she says, "he's been doing these stupid things. First,  whenever we go out, he's always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. It's very embarrassing."

  The marriage counselor is amused, "Anything else?"

  "He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public!"

  "Hmm, anything else?"

  The wife hesitates, "whenever we're making love, he NEVER lets me be on top!

  Once in a while, I'd like to be in control!"

  "Ah," says the counselor, "I think I'll talk to your husband now."

  So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, "Your wife says that you've been driving her crazy. She might even leave you."

  The husband looks shocked, "WHAT? For 20 years I've been loving and considerate and I've always given her what she wants! What could be the problem?"

  The counselor explains, "She says that you've got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, you're always acting strange in public-looking at the floor and never going near anyone else."

  The husband looks concerned, "Oh, you don't understand! It's one of the few things my father told me to do on his death bed and I swore I'd obey everything he said."

  "What did he say?"

  "He said that I should never step on anyone's toes!"

  The counselor looks amused, "Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry." The husband looks sheepish, "Oh. Okay."

  The counselor continues, "And you keep picking your nose in public."

  "Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean." The counselor looks faint, "That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity." "Oh," says the husband looking very stupid.

  "And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your love making."

  "This," says the husband seriously, "is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and it's the most important thing."

  "What did he say?"

  The husband replies, "In his dying breath, he said, "Don't screw up."

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