Muhibbah - Insult everybody equally.

Do Enjoy the following Malaysian jokes

LIGHT BULB JOKESJust to give you the hang of it...
How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Five. One stands on top the table holding the bulb, the other four rotates the table.

How many Chinese does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One screws in the bulb, the other one gives you the bill.

How many Indians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Fifty. And they'll form a union after that.

How many Malays does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. Malays are not supposed to screw anything other than their wives.

How many TNB workers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Ten. One screws in the light bulb, nine others claim overtime.

How many MIC members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. They can't reach the bulb. Somebody threw all the chairs and tables.

How many Sarong Party Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. Sarong Party Girls don't screw anything that's yellow.

What do you call the Malay guy who lost his car in Jalan Ampang?
- Carlost Zubir

The Malay guy who lost his motorcycle at a MSG factory?
- Hajinomoto

THE SURVEY
A recent survey on Malaysian sex habits revealed the following:
What do Malaysian men do immediately after sex?
20 % roll over and light up a cigarette
Another 20% go to the bathroom to wash
The majority, 60% of the men; they go home!

DJ MISUNDERSTOOD?A Singapore English radio station, was holding a live radio segment at a shopping mall. The DJ was hosting a game show where prizes were given away to kids on stage if they could name the opposite gender of animals. The first kid to come on stage was a girl.

"What's your name girl; how old are you?"
"My name is Cheryl; I am 8 years old."
"OK, tell me Cheryl, what is the opposite of cow?" "Bull."
"Very good! That's correct. Now here's a barbie doll for you.
Ladies; gentlemen, please give her a round of applause."

The game then continued for the next 15 minutes in a similar fashion with the kids getting all the simple questions correct until it was time for the 10th kid to come on stage. The audience were very impressed with this kid as he was very clever; articulate from the moment he stepped on stage, before being asked, announced,

"My name is Johnny. I am 7 years old and I like English, Maths; Art. My hobbies are collecting stamps; stickers."
The audience liked him immediately because of his confidence; had started to clap for him. His parents, standing right in front of the stage, were beaming with pride at how smart their son was.
"OK, Johnny, you should know the answer to this question very well. Close 2 eyes also can answer. Tell me, what is the opposite of cock?"
The young boy paused for a moment, scratched his head, moved closer to the microphone; finally answered proudly, "Chee Bai!"

THIS ONE WON'T BE MISUNDERSTOOD...
Ever thought of becoming a deejay in a local Malay radio station? Easy! Just master the art of repeating every other word. Example.....cuaca, ya cuaca di Kuala Lumpur sekarang mendung, mendung... keadaan trafik, trafik di Cheras sesat, sesat....anda, ya anda sedang mengikuti, mengikuti siaran, siaran Repeat FM .... OK, OK, kita dengar lagu, ya lagu dari Ella, Ella...terima kasih, terima kasih kepada anda, anda...."

WHEN YOU DRIVE A PROTON SAGA...
What's the first thing that come to your mind when you see a Chinese man driving a BMW?
- A pimp
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Malay man driving a BMW?
- Ahmad

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see an Indian man driving a BMW?
- A car jockey
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you see a Bhai driving a BMW?
- A car repossesor

THE LITTLE ONE
If Puff Daddy were to marry Mariah Carey, what will they call their kid?
- Curry Puff. But since they are so rich, it'll probably be Kaya Puff...