A weighty issue

I think it all started during childhood and got worse when I hit puberty. Like most kids, I was accumulating puppy fat. As a child growing up, I remember being doted on by my grandparents, who fed me persistently as a sign of their affection. During my teenage years my mother would constantly remind me that was fat. Looking back, I realized that although she meant well, her criticisms served only to pierce me like daggers falling from the sky. She was inadvertently, gradually chipping away my self-confidence. So instead of encouraging me to lose weight, she had achieved the opposite, because my angry reaction was to stuff myself with more food, just to be as defiant as I could. Being fat, against her wishes, was the outlet for my frustration that the people I love did not accept me in the size that I was.

The emotional conflict persisted until it became ridiculous - I had become obese. When I was past my anger and hurt, I acknowledged that I was the real enemy. Although I am very lucky to have married a man who did not mind my size - who loved me as I am - I started to become increasingly dissatisfied with my body. After the birth of my daughter, I wanted to lose the extra 20kg gained during my pregnancy. Even long after my childbirth, I could only fit into my maternity dresses.

I was very depressed about my weight that I decided to seek medical help. The doctor told me that he could only help if I was serious about changing my life. After some time of reflection, I was ready. I went back to the doctor and he started me on a medication that helps reduce the absorption of dietary fat. The catch: I had to fulfil my end of the deal. I started by eating smaller portions. When I noticed dramatic results during the first months under treatment, I became motivated to do more. J would go window-shopping (my favorite pastime) with my baby in her stroller. My husband would also remind me that I should focus on feeling better and not just losing weight. I had to get my perspective right! My diet gradually evolved to healthier choices: less fried foods, sugar and oil. As I lost more weight, I signed up at the gym as a gift to reward 'me' for my efforts. There, I would swim because my swollen ankles and knees restricted me from other exercises. Now I can swim over 1 km and walk on the treadmill. Even my asthmatic condition has improved.

I am getting closer to my ideal weight each day. I tell my daughter that being fat is OK, but being healthy is better. I try teaching her that fatness is just a stage of the body. I have learned through my painful past that unconstructive, tactless comments from people you love can be very destructive. Putting others down for being fat will do nothing but erode their self-worth. Because without self-worth, you won't be able to do much at all, much less lose weight. So the next time you see an overweight person, be kind. Offer some advice, not criticism.