Ah Beng

Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator:

"COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TAIPEI AND LAS VEGAS?"

Operator: "JUST A  MINUTE..."

Ah Beng: "THANK YOU,"   AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

At a  bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & his companion says,

"JACKDANIELS, SINGLE."

The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"

Ah Beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng,  MARRIED."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Ah Beng brags.

"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims.

"YOU ARE A FOOL". Ah Beng replies. "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.".

Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition.

During the Q & A segment, the host asks, "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'"

The crowd shouts,"Gin! Gin!". Others exclaim, "No, its Grape Juice!"

Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"

Host : "Quiet please."

Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you think I need their help?  I got  more original answer :   Guni !" (cow milk in Hokkien)

Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.

Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help ... but it's been over  half an hour & still nobody has  come to help me.